Baby Rainbow took a one way ticket to heaven today afternoon.
I do not want to talk much about this, but there're a few things I really have to say.
Baby Rainbow,
I'm sorry I neglected you.
I'm sorry I let you sleep in the dark, alone, outside the house.
I'm sorry I never cared enought for you.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm sorry.
I do not think that I could tell or explain what is it, or how I feel right now.
I'm just so sorry.
I thought I'd be okay if you ever leave.
I thought I'd not feel anything.
But I was wrong.
I feel immense guilt.
I feel sucky
I feel sad.
I wish you are happy up in heaven where you belong.
To think I thought nothing of the fact that you so obviously lost weight recently..
TO think I never thought of playing with you daily..
TO think, on the day Thumper left, I had, in a millisecond, thought that it'd be better if YOU had gone instead, so I need not explain Thumper's death to my friend and make her sad.
It was just a sudden thought that struck me as I panicked over Thumper's passing.
It passed as soon as it came, less than a second.
But how could I ever, ever have thought of that. How could I. Am I a non-feeling person? Am I not humane at all?
I know I did not mean that thought. But all the same, You're gone now. And I'm sorry.
I loved you, but love is not enough.
I am selfish and self-centered, a fact i never bothered hiding from anyone.
I just hate that my attitude has robbed you of your precious life. How could I do this to you?
You were so full of life, filled with vitality, so cute, so adorable, so innocent, so pure. Beautiful grey and white fur, Fur as soft as a baby.. No, you WERE still a baby. A baby.
How could I.
I promise, right now, with every spare spark of willpower that I have and possess, that I WILL NEVER EVER buy a pet that I cannot take care of properly.
I promise myself.
I will not risk anymore innocent souls just for my 5 minute pleasure or entertainment.
Rest In Peace, Rainbow.
And please forgive me.
I wish, I pray that you're with your best friend in heaven now =) zooming around on a field , with carrots growing around and also those bamboo shoots whose leaves you love so much.
Rest in Peace,
Baby Thumper and Baby Rainbow
26th October 2008
I'm sorry.
I really DO vow that this will be the last time I ever selfishly kill a pet. Enough have died in my hands due to my neglect and selfish ignorance.
So remind me the next time I intend to buy any pet on a whim. Or I'll hate myself if it should die in my hands again.
You trusted me with your life , your soul, your weak, tiny body : so small , you fit right in the palm of my hand.
You put your life in my hands and I robbed you of life. Some may say it's not my fault but once the responsibility was placed in MY hands.. It's MY fault. There's no question about that, and I take responsibility for it.
I'm so sorry, but what are words when the spark in your once lively eyes are now put out?
What does an apology mean to you now that you're no longer here to pretend to understand what I say?
To think of all the times I looked at you in horror when you shat repeatedly, unceasingly, 3,5,8 "surprises" in a row..
If only you were still alive and bouncing.
I'd happily let you have your own unlimited shit quota. And I'd smile at you as you wee on the little "house", no, the home, I so enthusiastically made for Baby Rainbow which later on became YOUR home too.
Now that you're gone, though, all I can say is that I'm so sorry.
And I know you're in heaven somewhere.
Please forgive me. I should have sheltered you from the harsh winds. You still being a baby, needing warmth and love that I failed to give you.
I should have made sure you were healthy and should've never fed you anything BUT rabbit food.
I've never fully taken responsibility for anything before, not in my 18 years of life.
I've hardly ever taken ANYTHING seriously before and always thought I was right no matter what the circumstances.
I want to say I've learnt my lesson.
But ...
This is me, I wish I weren't like that, but I am.
Perhaps I was never meant to be responsible for any other living soul..
If there is a God, He/She will see to it that you're happy up there...
I'm sorry.
Not only to you, but to the friend whom I let down and failed, who trusted me with something she loved so tenderly.
I feel really bad. I know I will be laughing or being happy the next day, but know that I'll always remember you.
You had a winsome personality that just won the hearts of so many people. There was just something so appealing about you... something that melted the coldest of hearts. Despite your constant shitting and peeing all over, and me having to clean up after you, I didnt mind. You were adorable.
I took my own sweet time and all went well and smooth.
As habit makes it compulsory for me to peer into the toilet bowl after every sh*t, (shit will hereby be changed to cookie, cos it's gross to say shit), I nonchalantly peered into the the deep abyss after the 15 minutes of joyful unburdening...
Only to find something really weird going on in the deep abyss.
The "cookie" I just produced looked weird. The smell was... relevantly similar to all other past cookies, but it was a weird colour.
Let's make a reference to Famous Amos cookies, cos I'm sure everyone knows that.
I usually make cookies that are the colour of the famous chocolate chip cookies, a rich, golden brown, but not as crispy wtf.
TODAY, I looked down at the product of my sexy self and see....
instead of the usual golden brown chocolate chip cookie...
A very weird...
rarely seen...
BLACK, double chocolate chip cookie.
Black. Black. as in charcoal coloured. And it smelled... um.. worse than usual wtf.(yala I lied earlier)
see the double chocolate chip in the middle? that's what I produced today.
(soft and chewy! HAHAHHAHA)
see the choc fusion? (nt available in Malaysia wtf man)
Yeah, the golden brown part is what i NORMALLY produce. (okla, tipu, mayb slightly darker shade of brown la)
See the difference?
picture credited to "ilovechrist" at photobucket.com.
I do not know why, nor do I want to know how.
All I know is I ate dinner at APOLLO at USJ 4, near my house, just now. And I ordered their claypot chicken rice...
And the rice was brown/black from soysauce or whatever...
ada kaitan ke dengan warna cookie I yang dikeluarkan tadi?
I do not know.
I did, however, have dinner with 5 other people who all ate the same thing.
And I will be waiting for their feedback on their cookie making process. The information of which I will then use to assess if my sh*t today is normal or abnormal and I have to see a doctor.
Doctor: what's your problem?
Me: I shit black colour, like charcoal! not normal.
Please, no. I don't want the above to happen. xie xie. so u guys better shit black too wtf.
The turn signals and taillights shine trough the translucent fabric when activated and become invisible when turned off. (source: www.agostino-racing.com) (follow the link above for the article on GINA)
argghh. SEXY. SEXY. SEDUCTRESS.!!! This, is undeniably THE sexiest , most awesome, breathtaking, sleek beauty every invented. Too bad it's not on the market as yet. shucks.
I want one. and you do too, I'm sure.
Actually, I want a lot of other stuff.. which I will list down some other time
In the meantime, can somebody donate some money to my new JiaweiC Oxford Bootie Fund (Goal - RM180)
xie xie! =)
And i wanna talk about that sexy BMW in detail too, but Jack's in need of my tender lovingness (HAHAHAHHA TENDER HAHAHAHHA), so au revoir!
DONATE TO THE JiaweiC Oxford Bootie Fund, merci beaucoup! Every ringgint counts!
This is ME, being yeng with my windswept hair, being driven by my chauffeur (Mr. LOW EN LIN) in my stretch Limo (EN LIN's WAJA with a dent on one of the doors)
This is a picture I took with MY canggih camera (En Lin's DSLR).
This magnificent work of art is a show of my skill and talent (luan luan pai de but memang skillful, it turned out so beautiful.)
This is Ji Herng, Me and Ying Xian, NOT studying.
this is us, why my mouth senget.
us us us us us with my daipao face
c'est ma compagnies (duno right or wrong), Ying Xian La Belle et Ji Herng le homosexual. (parce-que il dit moi morsche a l'ecole.)
(because he calls me ugly in school.luan luan lai de. grammar all wrong, i think)
moi et Ying Xian dengan effect canggih that I call "The Heaven Effect"
Bubbles
Ying Xian looking gorgeous.
Me, being my usual attractive self.
Ying Xian and baby Thumper. Bought for RM75. kena con.
This Ying Xian et moi. Moi , looking constipated.
This is me being normal.
C'est Ying Xian La Belle et Ji Herng le pedé.(GAY)
This is us, being sexy, I look like Angelina Jolie, Ying Xian looks like Natalie Portman, Ji Herng looks like Orlando Bloom and En Lin looks like... (no comment).
Us, being sexy and boliao.
En Lin looking like Mr. Malaysia 2008.
BoLiao people + EN Lin the handsome. SO handsome macam BradPitt campur Chace Crawford.(after a failed plastic surgery procedure)
While waiting for my Facebook Guess The Sketch game to load, I finished up this post.
Sampai sekarang masih belum load.
Epic Fail.
TKS tomorrow. Best of Luck to all sitting for the paper.
I bought this pair from http://mezzaninetime.blogspot.com/ . I loved the pocahontas look it had and I just KNEW it would look good on any simple outfit.
I bought it at a Vincci size 5/ UK size 5
Unfortunately, upon trying them on, it all felt okay, comfy, even. Except my right toes couldn't breathe. Why? Due to all the lumps and bumps I have from ballet and skating, making my toes sort of.. deformed..
Therefore, I have to now sell this pair off . Kindly inform me if you would like to purchase it.
It has a really rugged, unique, STARE AT MY FEET look. GO anywhere with a plain white dress and you'll still capture attention with these pair of wedges.
I bought them for RM63 + RM4 delivery price.
Final details.
PRICE: RM 60. Negotiable.
SIZE: VINCCI size 5
CONDITION: Perfect. Only worn when I was trying it on.
FAULTS: there is a slight indent near the sole of one side, but it's unnoticeable unless u hold it 2 cm away. It was like that when I first bought it. (I AM SO HONEST. cos I don't wanna sound like those sellers who are trying to con their buyers)
DETAILS: Velvet material( I like!) , the sole is comfy and it's a practical pair to walk all day long in. AND YOU can lace them UP! it's so unique la shit why are my toes like that.
DELIVERY/PAYMENT DETAILS: I will gladly arrange for a COD (Cash on Delivery) whereby you hand me the money after I pass you the good.
COD AREAS: SS15 (anywhere near Taylors). For anywhere else, I'd have to ask for a fee for delivery. (petrol price.. sila memahami situasiku)
I genuinely liked this pair... haih.
Do leave me a message in the comment section if you are interested, thanks! =)
NEWS: Cambodian couple saw house in half in divorce
Fri Oct 10, 2:23 PM ET
(whaaat? haha)
PHNOM PENH, Cambodia - A couple in rural Cambodia has terminated their 18-year marriage with a divorce settlement that entailed sawing in two the wooden house they once shared, villagers said Friday. The husband, 42-year-old Moeun Sarim, has taken away with him all the bits and pieces of his half a house, said his 35-year-old wife, Vat Navy.
"Very strange, but this is what my husband wanted," she said by phone from a village about 62 miles east of Cambodia's capital, Phnom Penh. She said they ended their marriage last month.
"He brought his relatives and used saws to cut the house in half," she said, adding that she now owns the other half that is still standing. The house is made from wood with a tile roof and propped up on wooden pillars, a typical style for a Cambodian country home.
She said her estranged husband and his relatives, after ripping apart half of the house, carried all the debris to his parents' house nearby.
She said the divorce was prompted by her husband's jealousy about her alleged relationship with a policeman in the village. She denied having an extramarital affair.
"He wanted a divorce, and I said, `Let's divorce,'" she said.
The husband could not be reached for comment.
Bou Bout, a village chief, said local officials and police were present as witnesses the day the couple split their 20-by-24 1/2 foot house into half.
"Local officials tried three times to get them to mend their differences, but the husband would not budge," Bou Bout said by phone.
I don't really have the time nor the motivation to blog now, but my readership is declining so steadily, I predict it'll hit the negative numbers soon.
haha. not funny.
So.. the above is a picture of me.,, Green eyes are fake, of course.
I really like the way I look with coloured contacts, but at the same time, I feel like I'm cheating the world cos that's not what I really look like. Do you understand?
It's like this.
A girl can slap on 5 inch thick foundation, 999 layers of mascara, eyeshadow, the works. She can put on colour contacts. She can dye her hair, curl it. She can always dress to kill.
But in the end, you know that's all just a facade. Cos what's REAL, what's TRUE beauty, is what lies beneath all that shit on her face. And THAT, she does not dare show, as she has become so dependant on her drawn on face.
edit: this part onwards edited to be told in the first person point of view, using I, hypothetically, of course, instead of SHE, in case some loser terasa.
Such a shame. Cos I might be able to deceive everyone into thinking I am beautiful and hot and sexy to boot. But so what? that's not me. When you don't even dare step out of the house without a stitch of make up, wats the whole bloody point. of attemtping to be "beautiful"? Everybody knows I take bloody hours just trying so hard to alter myself into something "better".
Which is why I think it's good to revert back to basics once in a while . Which I do. Cos it's all a facade, all a lie. And lying to others equals to lying to yourself.
I really hate seeing people with clown make-up. cos.. I just do la. especially when they wear that mask of make-up to stupid places like th pasar malam or to college or to stupid places. I especially cannot stand it if there was anyone who is so insecure with his/herself that he/she has to literally "put on" his/her face before allowing anyone to glimpse them.
I'm just saying. Cos i see this quite often and it bores the hell out of me as well as make me wanna snort and roll my eyes at them and their pitifully low self confidence.
Wow. I had something to blog about after all.
If any of you reading this terasa cos u put on make up, I do too la . duh.
my eyes - currently real, sometimes fake.
my hair - half fake half real, as the roots are almost half the length of my hair now.
etc etc.
But i'm talking about those who go overboard and look like clowns. Not YOU. or me. haha.
malas wanna jaga feelings.
Au Revoir!
wish me luck for AS =)
jwC
note: yeah, I forgot to add. After two months of separation, Jack and I are ok now. =) But it might turn sour again though, so it's really not a big deal. RIght now, I'm as happy as can be ! =) and when I'm not, I'm sure my posts will alert you to my emotions .
note 2: we were ok AFTER the "A Time for Us" post.
note 3: such posts are not "emo" . I hate the word "emo" . I like to think of them as being very deeply reflective and insightful, with a carefully laced sorrow to the words. cheh wah.
(Love Theme from Romeo and Juliet) (Words by Larry Kusik, Eddie Snyder / Music by Nino Rota)
Andy Williams Johnny Mathis - 1969 Henry Mancini (instrumental) - 1969
A time for us, some day there'll be When chains are torn by courage born of a love that's free A time when dreams so long denied can flourish As we unveil the love we now must hide
A time for us, at last to see A life worthwhile for you and me
And with our love, through tears and thorns We will endure as we pass surely through every storm A time for us, some day there'll be a new world A world of shining hope for you and me
For you and me
And with our love, through tears and thorns We will endure as we pass surely through every storm A time for us, some day there'll be a new world A world of shining hope for you and me
A world of shining hope for you and me
.
widely assumed to be the greatest love story of all time.
What most fail to recognise, is the immense tragedy in Romeo and Juliet.
It's a tragedy not romance.
full title ˇ The Most Excellent and Lamentable Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet
author ˇ William Shakespeare
type of work ˇ Play
genre ˇ Tragic drama
tones ˇ Passionate, romantic, intense, rhapsodic, violent, prone to extremes of emotion (ecstasy, rage, misery, etc.)
themes ˇ The forcefulness of love; love as a cause of violence; the individual versus society; the inevitability of fate
motifs ˇ Light/dark imagery; opposite points of view
I don't really believe in this anymore, A Time for Us, though I used to cling to it like it was the last blade of grass in the ground as a hurricane whips around me. I wrapped my fingers on that blade, strangled it desperately for the longest time, believing that this seemingly weak plant with it's strengthless roots could secure me and not let me get wound up in the storm. But a mere blade of grass is just that, a mere blade of grass. And in time, my hard hold on it crushed it, made it bleed, as I stared dumbly at it's blood staining my hands, still wet. Butchered, is the word I think fits the scneario. butchered what.. I don't know. But there's nothing to hold on to anymore.
So let go, now.
.
.
yeah, that's my butt you're looking at, but it's the only pic of my back being turned , and my fingers look like they just let something loose for their grip, sorta.
Credits to Fiona Gan for this wonderful picture of my rear end.
Kindly inform me if you would like to purchase it.
